10 Great Songs You've Probably Never Heard

You may not know this about me, but I'm a big American Idol fan. Well, I was before Paula and Simon left. Now I'm just nostalgic for the good old days when I would scour the internet looking for whatever bits of music from Idol alumni I could find. I have to admit that I love Pia Toscano's new song, This Time. But that's sort of why I'm not such a big Idol fan these days. Not only did one of the best singers they've ever had on the show not even get to the top five, but the show all but admitted that winning the show no longer matters by letting Pia release a single before either the winner or the runner-up. Idol and sham are both four-letter words. Coincidence? Anyway, tonight's blog is dedicated to ten songs I love that you've probably never heard. All by Idol alum. I hope you like them as much as I do. 

Change Is Hard ... Because it's Different

I am completely blank tonight. I knew I would have a few of these days in the course of writing every day for a month, so it's not really a shock. I'm not sure I've ever written seven consecutive days in my life. It feels almost unnatural. It's like when someone will say to me, “I can't believe I've been sober x number of years and there are still days I think about using.” Bitch, you're a drug addict. It's a miracle there are days when you DON'T want to use.

Milestones in Crackheadedness -- Part One

I didn't realize when I decided to write every day in August that doing so would take me right smack into my 100th post. It probably doesn't seem all that significant since it's taken me almost two years to get here but it's a fairly big deal to me. I haven't been exactly prolific, but at the same time I haven't bloated my post numbers with a bunch of posts that were just pictures or video clips. In all but a few (fewer than a half dozen I'm pretty sure) I wrote at least 500 words. So, I feel compelled to mark this occasion. And of course to thank you all for reading. I get a lot of joy out of knowing that I've made a few of you laugh (and cry) over the past 99 posts.

Open Letter to Kelly Clarkson

Originally posted March 2007

While we're on the subject of open letters (see previous post), here's one from my first blog that I wrote to Kelly Clarkson in the spring of 2007 while waiting for what ended up being My December to be released. Ultimately it was totally worth the wait, but you all know that I was completely cracked out in the spring of 2007 so patience wasn't something I had in great abundance. Anyway, since today's post was short, and it was an open letter, AND I'm getting impatient for the next Kelly Clarkson album to be released here's that letter again for your enjoyment. BWH*

Horns Blow

Open letter to the woman that blew her horn and nearly knocked me into traffic this morning (and everyone like her):

I want to start off by letting you know that I’ve been on both sides of this. For the first year back in San Diego, my only two modes of transportation were bus and bike. I rode my bike a lot.

The "I dared p²" Challenge

I planned on writing about this later in the month, but now that comments have been made telling me I should take topic suggestions from my blog readers,  I guess I’m going to write about it today.

Shut Up and Spell

There were a couple of reasons I chose the so-low-you-could-get-over-it-without-lifting-your-feet bar of 100 words when I gave myself this writing every day challenge for August. One was because I saw a blog a while back where the writer wrote exactly 100 words every day and I toyed with the idea of making that the challenge for myself. Well, I toyed with it the way a cat might briefly toy with a rubber mouse before batting it away. I barely even reach coherence before the hundredth word, so that didn't seem like it would be fun for anyone – not for me to write and certainly not for you to read.

The Empty Bucket List

I think about 348 sober people I know posted a link to the story in the NY Times today about who gets addicted to drugs and who doesn't. Interesting as it is, I already know the only real answer that's important to me – I DO get addicted to drugs.

100 Words

So, if you are someone that doesn't hang on my every Facebook word (shame on you), you may not know that I've thrown down a challenge for myself this month. It's a two-parter: first, I've committed to watch only one hour of television per day (that includes TV shows downloaded on the internet as well – but I will allow the exception of one film per weekend if desired); second, I'm going to write at least 100 words on my blog every day as well.

Me-Me-Mea Culpa

A friend of mine here in San Diego had to deal with some of the things many of us have had to deal with in early sobriety and I told him I'd say a prayer for him. Immediately I remembered this blog post, which I wrote when I was maybe four months sober. It's short, but it says so much about me.

Originally posted circa January, 2008

Please Stay

When someone we care about dies unexpectedly, the feeling is the emotional equivalent of a kick in the nuts. In addition to the pain and low-level nausea experienced, there are the added components of shock and disorientation. That’s because no one ever really expects to get kicked in the nuts; it’s almost impossible to prepare for it in advance or process it immediately afterward. (I know this analogy is only visceral for men, but I’m sure most women at least have an intellectual understanding of how physically traumatic that is.) Sudden death is also one of those things that doesn’t hurt less because we’ve experienced it before.

2011 French Open Women's Preview

It says as much as the state of women's tennis right now as it does about Kim Clijsters that many people are picking her to win the French Open even though she hasn't played a single match on red clay this year. It's a little bit hard to believe that four times a year someone wins one of these things yet looking at the list, no one looks capable of doing it. Let's take a closer look.

French Open Men's Topless Preview

Feliciano Lopez

Since the French Open starts tomorrow, just a quick and dirty preview.

American Idol -- Top 3 Performance Show

Top three night. Can you believe it? Casey, Pia and James – this might be the strongest top three ever. Oh wait. Who? Haley, Scotty and Lauren? Don't be ridiculous. Excuse me? You're not joking. OK. Yeah, that's *exactly* how I thought it would end up. Seriously. Anyone that says this is the top three they predicted at the beginning is either lying or they were on really good drugs when they were making their picks.

American Idol -- Top 4 Performance Show

Just so you know, no one but Haley is getting any points tonight. Friggin' J-HO!

Baby Mama

In honor of Mother's Day

Originally posted 12/2/2006 I actually vividly remember writing this on the plane coming back from San Diego to NYC. The reason I remember is because every word I typed was critiqued telepathically by all the other passengers on the plane. It's very hard to finish a blog post when every sentence has to be approved by more than 100 strangers. I went through and fixed the grammar, but that's all. Otherwise, this is how it originally got posted. BWH*

American Idol -- Top 5 Performance Show

There was a lot going on at the beginning of tonight's Idol. For starters, why was Jennifer dressed like a school marm? Did anyone else notice the sign someone held up that said, “I [love] Seacrest's Side Part”? I don't know why that struck me odd, but it really did. And how about Sheryl Crow's hair in that picture of her backing up Michael Jackson?

After two or three seasons of screwing with the formula, we're finally back to having the top five doing two songs each. The last time that happened was season seven. So how did our heroes (and heroines) fare with two chances? Let's find out.

American Idol -- Top 6 Performance Show

We're down to the top six. All of the people left can sing. I at least like five of them. I am a fan of three of them. I have two favorites. There's only one I think really deserves to win. I have my doubts that any of them will amount to much in the real world. I haven't downloaded a single song from this year. That's a first for this late in the season. I usually have been moved to add at least one song to my iPod by now. Maybe tonight will be the night. Let's see.

Everything Old Is New Again

I've been thinking about my dad a lot this week. Last Sunday was the 7th anniversary of his death. Going through my things that were in storage for a year has gotten me thinking about the past. And I always knew that when I got access to my old blog material, I would start posting it here.

Since Easter is a time of rebirth, it seems appropriate to bring the old blog back to life today. This is the very first entry of the original p² to the nth blog. I'm 99% sure that everything I wrote on that blog (at least everything I can still find) was written high on crystal meth. I think it's interesting to see how my mind was in some ways so different, but in some still so exactly me. When I post something from the old blog, I'll post the original date (as close as I can figure) that it was posted. If you read the old blog, I hope you enjoy the trip down memory lane. If you never read the old blog, I hope this is as close as you'll ever get to seeing my brain on drugs.

American Idol -- Top 7 Performance Show

I'm back after missing my first performance night blog post in three seasons. Last week was all sorts of chaotic for me. After getting all my stuff that had been in storage for a year, it took a little while to get it organized. Then my laptop died last Tuesday night. Fortunately, my desktop has been restored to its former glory after about three years of being inoperable. Of course, it's been restored to the glory of a computer I bought five years ago. Be that as it may, I'm back. Just like the six contestants we'd thought we'd seen the last of until the finale and the tour.

I don't know if that unprecedented performance was inspired by Pia's premature elimination or not, but it felt really unnecessary and random. And with all due respect to Steven, with the exception of Ms. Toscano, no one is rethinking their decision about any of those people. Who else was vaguely surprised that Ashton and Karen had actually been in the top 13? I was thinking, “Oh yeah. They did make it out of the semi-finals didn't they?”

The Military Acceptance Project

So, 99.99% of the time, my blog is all about me, written by me -- my life, my thoughts, my obsessions (read: tennis and American Idol). Today, however, I'm going to turn the spotlight on something else -- a website called The Military Acceptance Project. And because I think the creators of the site have done such a great job, I'm just going to use their words to tell you what it is.

American Idol -- Top 9 Performance Show

I'm having a hard time sitting still to write this post. I was so unmoved by almost all of the performances that my notes consist of the name of the contestant and the name of the song. That's useful.

I want to point out before I start that when I critique these performances, there is no malice or rancor intended. Especially now because all of the people left (except Paul McDonald) I once considered top contenders to make it to the top 3. So, I'm when I'm harsh I'm not alleging that the contestant has no talent, just that s/he is not performing at a level that makes him/her worthy of the title American Idol.

Do Over: American Idol -- Top 11 Performance Show

I hope you all appreciate what I go through to bring you this blog. It's my day off (Thanks Cesar Chavez) and not only am I sitting in front of my computer (OK, I'd be doing that anyway) but I've queued up last night's episode so I can give you the best possible recap.

Just like last night, I'm fast-forwarding through that crap about last week. I love these two-hour shows where they waste the first 15 minutes. OK, so I'm exaggerating about the 15 minutes, but the first performer didn't come on until almost the nine-minute mark. Move it on.

Just one thing before we do though. Does J-Lo get hotter every week. She looked stunning.

American Idol -- Top 11 Performance Show

After last week’s mediocrity, I’m lowering everyone’s score by at least five this week. You want a good grade? Earn it by having more than one good performance. The problem here isn’t talent. This batch is at least 30 percent more talented and memorable than last year’s drones. Case in point, Casey James finished third last season and I literally had to google “Idol season 9 Casey” to remember his last name. And I LIKED him!

The problem here is consistency, charisma and risk. Every one of the contestants that are left (except maybe Thia Megia) could blow the roof off the Kodak Theater if they put their mind to it. But so far, we’ve seen manic or spastic performances from out-of-breath and out-of-tune singers, dreary dirges that have us reaching simultaneously for no-doz and anti-depressants and – worst of all – completely in-their-pocket and safe song choices from the best of the best.

With the chance to go out on tour with the whole gang this summer riding on tonight’s performances, let’s hope they decide to bring something extra special. Let’s get to it.

American Idol -- Top 12 Performance Show

Let me just say right from the start: If my critiques seem lackluster and uninspired, it's because that's exactly how I felt about this "Songs from the Year They Were Born" episode. The song choices were just so-so, we have yet to see a truly original arrangement of a song (a la David Cook or Adam Lambert) and exactly one of the contestants tonight gave his /her best performance so far. Yawn. Let's get to it before I fall back to sleep.

OH, before we start. I was wrong last week. It was NOT live (according to tvline.com). I did see the "recorded from an earlier broadcast" disclaimer at the bottom of the screen here tonight, so I'm assuming it was live on the east coast this week.

American Idol -- Top 13 Performance Show

And we're live! I guess last week's results show was live as well (although I don't know that for sure), but some of you may or may not know that last week's performance shows were not. They were pre-recorded. I suppose there's nothing wrong with that; but I mistrust Idol (actually all TV) producers and I feel like giving them the chance to edit the proceedings makes it more likely that we're being manipulated. However, from what I've read, even when the show is live it can be "modulated" and auto tuned so I guess we never really know that we're seeing the real deal.

American Idol Semifinals -- Top 12 Girls

Last year I had really high hopes for the girls; then the performance shows started. So this year I'm keeping my expectations in check. Earn it bitches! On with the show.

American Idol Semifinals -- Top 12 Boys

So, I was wondering why we were doing the top 24 this week when they said all along that they were doing away with the semifinals this year. Now I understand. One shot for each of them and then we get the top five guys and top five gals. I don't know for sure, but it looks like they are just going to announce the wild cards on Thursday night. On with the show.

Questionable Footwear

The real title of this post should be Questionable Questions About Footwear. I got a pair of Vibram Five-Finger shoes for Christmas and I've been astounded at the questions people ask about them and the notions they have. So, here's a little Q/A primer for my new shoes.

Australian Open Preview -- Men's Draw

This will be much shorter than the women's preview (I think) because it's basically a two-horse race. Nadal / Federer are to men's tennis today what Navratilova / Evert were to women's tennis in the late 70s and early 80s. In other words, if you're anyone else you're basically playing for a spot in the semi-finals.

Australian Open Preview -- Women's Draw

I'm never going to get these seed reports done before the first ball is struck, but I won't be looking at the results until I'm done so there will be no cheating involved.

I'm not sure getting to the final or winning this tournament should be the goal of any of these women right now. If you look at the last three women's finals here, with the exception of Serena in 2009 (and she wasn't as lucky in 2010) everyone that has played in this final fell apart either physically or emotionally (or both) by the end of that same year. In fact, of the five of them (Serena, Justine Henin, Maria Sharapova, Ana Ianovic and Dinara Safina) only Serena is even still in the top ten. But she's been injured since right after Wimbledon so she will not be defending her title. No matter. Like it or not, someone is going to win this tournament so let's look at the chances each of them have.

p²'s Pop Magic 2010 -- Part 2

Without further ado, here are my ten favorite songs from 2010.

10. The Time - Dirty Bit (Black Eyed Peas) -- The version of this song I've heard on the radio is really heavy on the Dirty Dancing sample, which makes it repetitive and generic (which is often the way I like my pop music). The version on the album is much more Black Eyed Peas-ish (i.e. mega Fergie and Will.I.Am). If you haven't heard the album version, you should do yourself a favor and check it out (unless you hate the BEPs, in which case DO NOT CLICK THE LINK).

p²'s Pop Magic 2010 -- Part 1

[Note: Just like last year, part one today; the top ten tomorrow.]


It seems like just yesterday I posted The Best Songs of 2009, According to p². Of course, it probably seems like that to me because most of the songs on that list are still blowing up my iPod a year later. I always think I hate new music, so I tend not to listen to it until it's already been a hit for three months. Then I "discover" all these great new songs (that already have muzak versions by the time I get around to them).

The Crucible, Part III -- Reality Check

Once I had decided to ask someone for help, I got a temporary burst of focus and organization. In a shocking turn of events, I decided it would not be a good idea to smoke meth before heading over to talk to my former boss. I opted for coffee instead.

Cup in hand, I walked over and asked to see her. When she came out to the lobby to meet me, she said something that I thought was odd then, but find really hilarious now. She told me I looked the same as I had six years ago -- that I hadn't aged. Oh honey, I've aged. Trust me, I've aged.

Happier Holidays!!

Christmas is my favorite time of the year (especially now that I don't have to wear five layers of clothes just to take the trash out). But there's no denying it's not quite what it used to be. Granted, part of that is simply growing up. There's virtually no way to continue to see things with the wonder and joy of a child year after year after year.

Still, some of it is operator error -- and therefore correctable to a certain degree. Here are my suggestions for making the holiday season better. Some of them are simple; some are more complicated; others are simply fantasy.

A Message From the Universe

Could it be any clearer?

The Crucible, Part II

Note: If you're looking for The Crucible, Part I, don't. I actually wrote it two years ago and read it at a meeting the night before my one-year anniversary, but I'm not ready to share it here yet. It was the 24 hours immediately preceding where this story picks up and there are just some parts of my story I'm not ready to let go of yet. I suppose you can just figure out from what I have been willing to share just how mortifying, terrifying and crazy it must be. Maybe one day.

[As always, sentences in italics are the voices in my head.]


I spent the very early hours of the morning (before sunrise) wandering around the seediest part of Avenue D hoping I'd get jumped and beaten to death. In retrospect, I really must have been out of my mind because I've only ever been punched in the face once and I thoroughly did not enjoy it.

I had left where I was staying because I was acutely aware of just how much I was scaring my friend and his boyfriend with my psychotic behavior. I should say that while I was aware of how much I was scaring them, I wasn't sure if they were scared for me or of me. It makes me sad just to write that. This friend (I guess eventually I'll have to give him a pseudonym) had been unconditionally supportive for months and my behavior had become so increasingly erratic that I thought it would have been valid for him to feel either way. Hell, even I wasn't sure what I was capable of at that point so I couldn't really assure him that he needn't be afraid of me.

Idol Change Is Gonna Come (Like it or Not)

I wanted to wait until they were done making changes on the show before I wrote my thoughts on them. At this point, I'm not sure if they are done or not but with the show starting up again in about 50 days, I figured it was now or never. Plus, for reasons unknown I'm always more motivated to write at this time of year. I may miss some of the changes because I don't want this to be a six-hour project, but I'll try to hit all the biggies.

Help It Get Better Now

Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase, Billy Lucas.

I never met any of these kids. I never heard them speak. I don't even know where each of them is from exactly (without the help of Google). But I know them. How? Because I was them.

Anti-gay bullying isn't new. It's been going on for years. With the help of the webcams, blogs, texting and social networking sites however, it's become turbo-charged.

U.S. Open 2010 Men's Preview

For only the third time in the Open Era, the defending champion will not be in the men's draw. It's a shame, because after beating Nadal and Federer back to back last year he looked like he might be ready to have a massive year. Instead, he lost at the Australian Open to Marin Cilic and hasn't played since because of wrist surgery. His absence and Federer's ordinary play at the last two majors open up the possibility of another first-time champion here.

U.S. Open 2010 Women's Preview

This is one of my favorite things to do right before the majors. It's much easier to do for the Open because the draw comes out on Thursday rather than Friday. The French Open is all but impossible because the draw comes out on Friday and play starts on Sunday. I should have the men's preview done by Sunday midday.

Phree!

I am posting this now that I'm lying in bed and ready to turn out the light, thus I can be virtually certain I will be waking up sober tomorrow. I didn't wait until now because I think that luck and superstition have been integral in keeping me sober for the last three years. I don't. I do, however, think being arrogant and cavalier about my sobriety is a great way to lose it. So, I decided not to jump the gun, even though I had no plans and knew I would be presented with no opportunities to get drunk or high tonight.

Say NO to Gay Rights...

...And YES to EQUALITY!

This will probably be a short blog post (famous last words) because a lot has been said on this subject and I have very little to add -- but I do have a little. And if anyone knows anyone that works for Equality California, please feel free to forward them this link.

Right off the bat, let me proclaim this for all to hear: I DO NOT SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS OR GAY MARRIAGE. That's right. You heard me. What I do support are civil rights and marriage equality for everyone.

Wimbledon Preview

Thank God for Wimbledon and tradition. The French Open now starts their tournament on a Sunday, which means the draw comes out Friday and in less than 48 hours play begins. That's not very much time to write up a proper preview -- especially when other things are happening.

BEST! FINALE! EVER!

Here's a question to contemplate: How did a season that brought us so much indifference and mediocrity climax with such a phenomenal finale?

And who else was worried that it might be the worst finale ever when the first performance was a ghastly top 12 group number as an intro to a gruesome Alice Cooper?

One other thing before we dive into the delightful duets and groups. Why was Kara dressed like Tarzan? OK. I feel better. We can begin.

American Idol -- Finale: Part 1

Here we are at the Nokia Theater -- capacity 7,000 (at least it is for Idol). In a complete reversal of their personalities up to this point, Lee came down the aisle completely composed and casual while Crystal barely made it without falling down.

I don't know if it's just because I've been so down on this season all along, but it seemed like there was less fanfare and build up than usual. I seem to remember there being more emphasis on the "battle". Oh well. Here we go. I'm going to dispense with the number grades for each performance and just call a winner for each round (even though Simon wussed out this year and didn't do it).

Lee vs. Crystal -- A Preview

So, I've made a decision. I am going to fully embrace the finale of American Idol. I initially thought I couldn't care less who won because this season was so tedious I didn't feel anything good could come from it.

The more I thought about it, though, I realized that even if you go all the way back to Hollywood week a case could be made that the right two people made it to the Nokia Theater. Forget the heart-rending cut of Angela Martin (actually, NEVER forget the cut of Angela Martin -- they still need to pay for that one). Never mind that Haeley Vaughn, Tim Urban and Jermaine Sellers had no business getting out of Hollywood week alive (I still contend they intended to put Jermaine Purifory through instead, but a producer screwed up and didn't want to admit the mistake). Let's even put behind us the ridiculous early eliminations of Lily Scott and (in my opinion only I know) Didi Benami.

American Idol -- Top 3 Results

Let's start with the good news. According to Fox, next year they are trimming the results shows to 30 minutes. Michael Slezak from EW.com was asking readers what could be cut to "make the shorter show work?" Well, for several years the results shows were 30 minutes long all season, so how about if they just cut everything they added to bloat them to an hour.

American Idol -- Top 3

Kelly Clarkson -- Without You

Diana DeGarmo -- Don't Cry Out Loud

Bo Bice -- In a Dream (a capella)

Katharine McPhee -- Over the Rainbow

Kris Allen -- Heartless

Over the first eight seasons, the performances listed above were among the most memorable top 3 night performances. I listened to them all before I sat down to write this because I wanted to make sure what I was going to write was true.

American Idol -- Top 4 Results

These results shows seem to last forever anymore. Not too much to report tonight. Everything went pretty much as expected.

Idol tour tickets go on sale this weekend. Has there ever been news that was more useless than that?