AI Semi-Finals -- Top 12 Boys

What the hell? Ryan, "This is American Idol" is sacred. Don't be screwing with it. I do not appreciate it.

First impressions -- Did Ellen come dressed to clean the studio? Even less armpit tonight from Kara -- keep it up girl. You might end up only being Hitler by the end of the season instead of Satan.

What was up with Randy saying the girls blew it out last night? Were you even watching dawg?

Let's see if the guys can put to rest this notion that it's the girls' year. I'm going to try to use a little more specific rating scale to differentiate the contestants from now on so I'm going to go out two decimal places with my ratings.

Todrick Hall (Since U Been Gone) -- I'm trying to keep an open mind here, but this arrangement is a hot mess (that is NOT a good thing, Ellen). That said, he's not a bad performer and he certainly isn't afraid to take a risk. 5.75

Arrggh. Is this going to be another night of Kara and I agreeing? I'm going to have to start calling myself Lucifer.

Aaron Kelly (Here Comes Goodbye) -- I still think this kid is too young. He would be way better in a year or two. However, this is the best I've seen/heard him so far, so maybe he's going to shut me up. Still, a little boring on the presentation/performance. But the vocal sounded good to me. 6.75

I do like how "aw shucks" he is. And how small do you have to be to be towered over by Ryan?

Jermaine Sellers (Get Here) -- He was really working the damage control during his clip -- Boo Boo the fool. I like that. There seems to be a volume problem tonight. I'm having a difficult time hearing. Is that just me? What's up with the arrangements? Is this "remove the melody" night? Anyhoo, I guess his voice is OK, but I am just not a fan. Not even a little. 6.0

Ellen has been a bit of a disappointment to me so far. She doesn't really express herself very clearly, especially considering she's a talk show host. Randy mentioned the lack of melody too, so I guess that part's not just me.

Apparently they aren't big fans either, because they just about crucified him.

Tim Urban (Apologize) -- This is awful. So much so that I really want to fast forward. Dreadful. This might have to be one of the ten or 15 worst Idol performances ever. And it's a shame because I was all set to like him after that clip. He does have pretty eyes though. 2.5

Nice, Kara. Thanks for telling him that Simon said they were standing up to try to leave. Priceless.

The poor kid. They made "you're adorable" sound more like an accusation than a compliment. On the upside, he'll probably get a big sympathy vote.

Joe Munoz (You and I Both) -- I can't hear these guys at all really. I'm still having a hard time letting go of the fact that this guy is here and Jermaine Purifory isn't. He's just so-so for me. So far, the guys have done nothing to indicate that they are even as good as the girls, let alone better. 6.25

Oooh. Our first "for me for you" of the season. I'm surprised to hear Simon say he's the best of the night so far. I thought Aaron was better.

Limp and forgettable -- "rather like our host." Good one Simon.

Can I just say that I don't really need Ellen's op-ed at the end of every critique by Simon.

Tyler Grady (American Woman) -- I've been waiting since his first audition to hear him sing again. He's my favorite so far tonight, which is basically damning with faint praise. I do want to watch him when he's on stage, though; that's more than I can say for the others. He's for sure not the best singer in the world, but it total it all works for me. 7.25

They are all saying he has done the same thing over and over, but other than that first audition we haven't seen him so it's not really that tired for me yet. And I like his attitude.

Lee Dewyze (Chasing Cars) -- He looks the most comfortable on stage of everyone that's performed tonight. That seemed like a short song, but I liked him more than I expected I would. 7.0

OK. His teary eyes are winning me over.

John Park (God Bless the Child) -- So we hardly saw this guy in Hollywood and he comes out with this for his first shot? He's all over the place. In some spots you can hear that he has a good voice in there somewhere, but then it's gone just as quickly. Our streak of two not terrible singers in a row has been broken. 4.75

Ellen hopes people vote for everyone. She's Paula without the quirky drunk appeal.

So, Ryan asked him why he chose the song and he said because it was a very important song to him. That's pretty indulgent, which is just what Kara said. I'm not sure I even want to watch Idol anymore if I have to stop mocking Kara. It's not natural.

Michael Lynche (This Love) -- They've really pushed him on us and I'm still not sure why exactly. It's not that he's bad, but he certainly doesn't wow me. He's just OK for me dawg. 7.0

Simon is dead on with his critique here (which I didn't write in my notes so I don't remember what it was, just that I agreed totally).

I think Ellen is putting a little too much stock in their back stories. I don't really care about his baby. I just want to be entertained. And so far, entertainment has been in short supply.

Alex Lambert (Wonderful World) -- What on earth did they see in this kid? I don't even like his voice as compared to the mediocre crap we've heard tonight. I don't get him at all. 4.5

Good voice, Simon? I don't hear that at all. Based on all their comments, he must sound very different live.

He is sooo going to get the rest of the pity vote that doesn't go to Tim Urban.

Casey James (Heaven) -- Those stupid antics by Randy and Kara are totally distracting him. He looks like he's going to bust out laughing any second. I really, really like him though. I want to marry him. I have zero objectivity here. By the top 7 or 8 I will have forgotten who Kris Allen is. 8.75

The whole judges' panel just about came unglued. I have to say, I'm shocked at how much Simon liked him.

Andrew Garcia (Sugar We're Going Down) -- It's like he and Casey are in a different competition from the rest of the guys. This isn't as fantastic as "Straight Up" was, but he still makes the rest of them (except Casey) look really weak in comparison. 8.0

I don't think I agree with the judges at all here. I can't believe how they skewered him.

Picking the two guys to go home is a little tricky because I think there is definitely some sympathy voting that's going to happen. That's going to muddy things up a bit. But, that's why I get paid ... well, nothing. My bold predictions are that John Park and Joe Munoz will be going home. If I had my druthers, Alex Lambert would be going, but I think he's going to squeak by.

You?