Voices

I've written about the drug-induced psychosis and the voices in my head a lot on this blog, but I've written about them from the perspective of remembering them a couple years after they stopped. I found something I wrote about the voices when I was still hearing them. It was really interesting for me to see what it was like in the middle of it. I'm going to share it here tonight. I hope y'all find it interesting too. I didn't put dates on anything I was writing at the time, but I think I wrote it just before I went to rehab. I'm not sure it is totally coherent and of course as was usual back then, it just sort of ends. Enjoy.

Quitter

So, just this morning I posted on Facebook that I wish I had a job where I had to write something new every day. I still feel that way, but I wish I didn't have to do it at 10:30 at night. The only downside to having a really full life is that my life is really full. I haven't stopped all day. So now I'm here trying to thing of some way to entertain you and I've gotta tell you – I got nothin'.

But you know what I do have. Something I wrote when I was high about writing every day. I haven't posted anything from back then in a while and I think y'all might find it amusing to see how different my brain was back on Halloween 2006 (which is when this was written). Technically it's not a repost because it never made it to the blog. Not because I didn't think it was any good (I actually CTM'd – chuckled to myself – a couple of times while reading it just now); it never made it to the blog because I never finished it. In fact, it just stops. And I'm not going to add anything. So when you get to the end, well that's the end. Enjoy.

Open Letter to Kelly Clarkson

Originally posted March 2007

While we're on the subject of open letters (see previous post), here's one from my first blog that I wrote to Kelly Clarkson in the spring of 2007 while waiting for what ended up being My December to be released. Ultimately it was totally worth the wait, but you all know that I was completely cracked out in the spring of 2007 so patience wasn't something I had in great abundance. Anyway, since today's post was short, and it was an open letter, AND I'm getting impatient for the next Kelly Clarkson album to be released here's that letter again for your enjoyment. BWH*

Baby Mama

In honor of Mother's Day

Originally posted 12/2/2006 I actually vividly remember writing this on the plane coming back from San Diego to NYC. The reason I remember is because every word I typed was critiqued telepathically by all the other passengers on the plane. It's very hard to finish a blog post when every sentence has to be approved by more than 100 strangers. I went through and fixed the grammar, but that's all. Otherwise, this is how it originally got posted. BWH*

Everything Old Is New Again

I've been thinking about my dad a lot this week. Last Sunday was the 7th anniversary of his death. Going through my things that were in storage for a year has gotten me thinking about the past. And I always knew that when I got access to my old blog material, I would start posting it here.

Since Easter is a time of rebirth, it seems appropriate to bring the old blog back to life today. This is the very first entry of the original p² to the nth blog. I'm 99% sure that everything I wrote on that blog (at least everything I can still find) was written high on crystal meth. I think it's interesting to see how my mind was in some ways so different, but in some still so exactly me. When I post something from the old blog, I'll post the original date (as close as I can figure) that it was posted. If you read the old blog, I hope you enjoy the trip down memory lane. If you never read the old blog, I hope this is as close as you'll ever get to seeing my brain on drugs.

Flying High (Part Two)

It's been a long week and I couldn't bring myself to throw myself into another blog post today, so I'm cheating a bit. I am reprinting a letter I sent to American Airlines after they lost my luggage on one of my trips to California.

The story in itself is funny enough, but what's really interesting (to me) is reading exactly what I sounded like and what my thought processes were like when I was high. I resisted the very strong urge to take out some of the more embarrassing parts of the letter and I'm printing it in its entirety. Enjoy!