Friday, August 5, 2011

Open Letter to Kelly Clarkson

Originally posted March 2007
While we're on the subject of open letters (see previous post), here's one from my first blog that I wrote to Kelly Clarkson in the spring of 2007 while waiting for what ended up being My December to be released. Ultimately it was totally worth the wait, but you all know that I was completely cracked out in the spring of 2007 so patience wasn't something I had in great abundance. Anyway, since today's post was short, and it was an open letter, AND I'm getting impatient for the next Kelly Clarkson album to be released here's that letter again for your enjoyment. BWH*

So, I've been listening to Kelly Clarkson's second album for about a millennium now. There are probably six great songs on it. I've only in the last month started to get sick of the ten remixes of “Since You've Been Gone.” But, c'mon Kelly. How long are you going to live off this album?

I'm well aware of how amazing it was that you won a Grammy award after coming from American Idol. It must have been overwhelming. And you wanted to make sure you capitalized on that, touring and touring and touring some more. That's today's conventional wisdom. Albums make you famous; touring keeps you famous.

You know what else might help keep you famous? Write some new music! Try that. Just try it. That's all I'm asking. Another song for a soundtrack even. Anything. Throw us a bone, woman. Two years living off the same eight songs is a little much. You've already run smack into the only other truly talented AI winner, Carrie Underwood. Fortunately for you, she's completely country with a Leeann Rimes crossover thing going on. Nothing that will hurt you particularly, but it's easy to become stale and tired in an environment where just about anyone can release a single on iTunes.

You should know better than anyone that it only takes one megahit to shoot you into the realm of the superstars. Breakaway was a nice song by the girl who won American Idol. If the second single had been Behind These Hazel Eyes (great song, shitty title), that's who you'd be forever. But Since You've Been Gone was the second single, and all of a sudden you were everywhere. Not only were you everywhere, but everywhere you were everyone was falling all over themselves to tell you how great you are.

Now it's two years later and I don't hear Kelly Clarkson anywhere but on my iPod these days. And one album of note doesn't really give you a body of work to rest on. There are hundreds of wannabes out there trying to be the next big thing. I don't know who's giving you career advice right now, but all the really successful female pop stars of the last 20 years put 3-4 albums out almost one right after the other at the beginning of their careers. A lag between albums one and two is understandable, but to not follow up on this success doesn't seem wise. It's a good bet that most of your fans will forgive and forget the dis of AI at the Grammys. Too much more self indulgence and you're the reincarnation of Madonna. Do you really think you can live up to that?

So, all I've heard is what a big year 2007 is going to be because you are releasing a new album this year. But here it is March now and still nothing. I will not last through the entire spring without something. A soundtrack theme. A duet. A commercial jingle. Anything. Since your last album, I think Madonna has recorded and album, written a couple children's books, popped out another kid (well, popped him out of Africa or India or wherever it is she plucked him from), and even found time to get corrective surgery done on that dreadful cosmetic surgery that made her look like a 22-year-old mannequin. So, pick up the pen and put it to the pavement girl. These pop hits ain't going to manufacture themselves.

*Blogging While High

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