They Warned Us This Would Happen If We Let the Gays Get Married

I know I posted the link on Facebook today, but I feel like I need to memorialize my opinion on this matter on my blog as well. In case you missed it, here's toGay's big story: Inside the Bert and Ernie Marriage Campaign. Apparently Change.org has decided they have too much credibility and they want erode some of it by endorsing a ludicrous petition that they would scream bloody murder over if it were the other side positing something this absurd.




Think I'm wrong? Maybe, but I'd like some right-wing organization to start a petition to have Bert and Ernie move in to separate bedrooms because they were sick of people thinking they're gay. I can see the HRC and GLAAD spontaneously combusting in my mind (it's a beautiful thing actually). Oh the humanity. How on earth could those bigoted right-wing nut jobs imply that just because two men share a room they are corrupting children?!


That's the thing about lunacy. It transcends politics, religion and sexual orientation. There are morons that are atheists and there are morons that are born-again Christians.


As someone who has been a marriage equality proponent since the first fight in Hawaii in the mid-90s, I have to say that I'm insulted by these people think this is a legitimate use of resources. I didn't write editorials and letters, make phone calls, sign petitions and go to rallies so we could demand that two puppets get married. If you wanted them to get married so badly all these years, why didn't you start a petition years ago to have Ernie get gender-reassignment surgery? Oh, I'm sorry. That probably would have been silly, right?


I could write a thousand words on why this is so wrong, but I'm not going to. I'm going to remake my brief argument from earlier today and add the insight of a good friend.


Marriage is a right, not an obligation. No one, man or Muppet, should be forced into marriage at stiletto-point.


The notion that they've lived together for 40 years when neither of them has ever gotten a day older is beyond logic.


Finally, they're frigging' Muppets.


That's it. There's no deep insight here. All I can say is if you have signed that petition or are considering signing that petition, please get help. You've completely lost your grip on reality. Go volunteer at a homeless shelter for gay youth or an organization that helps gay couples with immigration problems. Or just get a job. Because if Bert and Ernie's living situation is the most pressing matter you have to deal with today, AND YOU'RE NOT IN PRE-SCHOOL, you need to take a good hard look at your life.