Saturday, August 17, 2013


The summer is almost over and I haven't seen Belinda Carlisle perform live yet. Two years ago today I got back from a trip to Atlanta and went directly to the Go-Go's concert at the Greek Theater on Belinda's birthday (which of course is today). Then last year I just happened to be in LA in June for something recovery related and I learned that she was performing at the Gay Pride festival that night. It feels like a Southern California tradition now to see Belinda in the summer.

I don't really have a whole lot to say tonight. I was on a road trip to San Luis Obispo today. We left at 7 am this morning, drove up, had a meeting, ate an early dinner and drove back. For me to be around people and out of the house for 15 straight hours is completely exhausting. My brain has nothing. But it's Belinda's birthday and I don't like to let that go by unacknowledged.

I've listened to a lot of Belinda songs A LOT over the years. Different songs have been my favorites at different times in my life. The three I'm going to post here tonight I must have played almost a hundred times each those last six months before I got sober.

Loneliness Game – “She lies awake at night, alone in silence. She reaches for the light and waits for guidance.” Add in some sobbing and being curled up in a fetal position and you pretty much have all might nights toward the end (and even at the beginning of sobriety). This song always spoke to me because people always seemed genuinely shocked to find out I was unhappy and lonely. I'm really glad the only reason I listen to this song now is because I love her.

Love Revolution – I was obsessed with songs that were about turning your life around and making big changes, which was strange because I never remember consciously wanting to change anything about me. I just wanted the voices to leave me alone. This one, however, mostly had to do with the fact that boyfriend had dumped me. I thought I was so in love and could never live without him. I honestly have no idea whether I thought the song was being sung to him or to me.

All God's Children – I had never heard this song until the last year I was using crystal. I immediately started playing it over and over and over. When I hear it now I get really sad for that poor guy who needed to hear this song so badly.

Happy birthday Belinda! Thanks for getting me through that dark, scary time.

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