Thursday, April 1, 2010

American Idol -- Top 10 Results

Sorry this is so late. I couldn't get to it last night and by the time I get up in the morning it's already late for you guys on the east coast. I will try to do better next week. Fortunately, it's just a results show so there's no real urgency.

Aside from the obvious I-hate-when-they-use-tie-ins-that-make-no-sense angle, there was an odd juxtaposition between tonight starting with the Clash of the Titans crap and Simon last night telling Aaron Kelly his performance was like a mouse picking a fight with an Elephant. The better film analogy would be Godzilla (Crystal Bowersox) destroying Japan (everyone else).

Can we please retire the phrase, "You are in it to win it." Throw in a "you kept your eyes on the prize" once in a while to vary your hackneyed rhyming cliches.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when Ruben Studdard came out on stage. First of all, who knew he was even still on the musical radar. But more importantly, what happened to the other half of him?

Not only did his voice not sound as good as I remember, the song was forgettable as well. I guess it is a little bit of a confidence boost to the contestants to watch the winner from one of the two weakest seasons in the history of the show.

I was interested in how he lost the weight until he said he was a vegan. He might as well have said he stuck a vacuum cleaner down his throat and sucked out all the fat. There is the same probability that I will do that as there is that I will ever become a vegan.

I was surprised Ryan acknowledged the gaffe of letting Clay and Ruben read the results over his shoulder. He has gotten a lot more comfortable with being human over the years. He used to hate any hint that he wasn't a robot that never made an error.

Anyone else not going to see Ruben and Clay this Joo - lie? Ruben handled it well, but you could tell he was a little bit irritated that Ryan said, "the claymates will be thrilled" as though Ruben has no fans.

The Ford video was ridiculous, but I loved that Casey was the only one not in that corny uniform. I wonder if they had a lottery to see who got to be the only non-geek or if he just refused to wear it.

Ryan's thin excuse to go over and touch Big Mike's head (after fondling his biceps earlier) was fooling no one.

I'm not sure I agree with Ryan's strategy of giving the contestants the chance to directly respond to the judges' criticisms. I think it would be better if he used a more indirect approach to let them disprove what's been said about them. Like instead of asking Andrew if he's boring, let him tell a story about something we'd all find really interesting.

I think Lee is just shy. I'm not sure he doesn't believe in himself, but he probably was taught not to brag and now he can't really break out of it.

Casey either has no idea how to win this competition or he has no interest in trying to win.

As soon as he had Aaron Kelly stand up alone, it was pretty obvious Katie Stevens was in the bottom three.

It seems weird that all of a sudden after eight seasons, Simon and Ryan have completely forgotten how to banter with each other. I think Ryan is suffering from separation anxiety because this is Simon's last season. But I loved how, five minutes later, Kara piped up with "Simon is in love with himself." Yeah honey, that's what Ryan said (in a stilted and confusing way, but still). And it wasn't creepy at all that Randy suggested Aaron think about being in love with his parents when he sang. He's 16. All that shit is confusing enough already. He'll be in therapy for the rest of his life with mommy issues.

I don't love Katie, but I wish she'd just say, "Why don't you all come to a consensus and then come talk to me." And Ryan keeps fanning the flames. He's not doing her any favors.

I don't even know what to say about the bruhaha among the judges after Katie went over to her stool. It's really awkward and uncomfortable. No wonder her father has to go drink on results night.

Usher is very compelling. I really didn't know much about him until this week, but he's got some moves. Although after four minutes and eighteen seconds, I was way past ready for him to be done.

It seems a lot easier to figure out who the probable bottom three are by the way they set up the sofas these days. Have I been watching too long or are they less sly now?

I love Didi, but I have to acknowledge that she doesn't come across as the most likeable girl on earth.

Since I called her a liability on Tuesday, I will give Ellen credit for pointing out how Mike's subtlety was the difference this week.

Ryan was so delighted when Mike picked him up over his head he almost squealed. I thought he might faint.

When Ryan told Crystal to stand up, Tim and Andrew started whispering. You know Tim was saying, "Dude, I live in the bottom three so you are definitely safe."

Kara all but called Tim an idiot. When Kara thinks you're a moron, you have got to be a few cards short of a deck.

The first thing I noticed was that Katie barely reacted when Tim tried to say hi to her at center stage. Where were the hugs from this group that is allegedly so close.

I understood why Ruben and Usher performed during R&B week, but what was up with Ditty Dirty Money. And if the name of the group is Dirty Money, why isn't it Ditty's Dirty Money? Whatever.

The reason I mentioned the thing about Katie just a couple lines ago is because not one of the people on the benches moved a muscle to congratulate Tim. In fact, when he sat down next to Katie she put her hand on his arm as if to console him (or herself). Either they don't like him at all or they've just come to realize that whomever is standing next to him when Ryan reads the results is dead. They aren't relieved for him or happy for him, just resigned to another week of him. Like I guess we have to be as well.

Say what you want about Didi and her bad performances. There is no way she deserved to go home before Tim. And probably not even before Katie. I knew they weren't going to save her, but I was glad she had one of her best moments on the show as she sang for her life. She was so good that the judges had to pretend like they were really contemplating saving her.

So what did you think of this result? Or of the results show?


  1. hey, it's janet. yeah, not a surprise at all that it was didi, even though you are right that it absolutely should have been tim. i turned it on late, when katie was already on the stool, so i missed a bunch of what you were talking about. it's a great way to watch it actually. really speeds things up! as for tim, i guess all you can say is he's this year's sanjaya.

  2. except that tim has better hair. that's about it.