Thanks to the impending move, my computer is out in the living room with the television. That means I'll be taking my notes right in the word document. It could mean a superfast posting to the blog tonight. I guess you'll know when you're reading this how well the new setup worked.
This speaks volumes about the talent this season: I was typing in the names of the ten girls performing tonight and I could only come up with five of them without checking last week's post. And then I turned it on and the top ten GUYS are performing. Why are they trying to screw with me? (For the record, I could only come up with five of the guys without looking too.)
Wow. That's unfortunate. I hope Mamasox is doing well enough to perform tomorrow night. And they changed the judges' order again. I do like Randy back in his rightful spot. I know he's lame, yo. But, dawg, for him for me, I just like it when he keeps it real in that first seat.
It's all well and good to give them the benefit of the doubt for the first week because of nerves, but last year they only had one shot and there were far better performances during the semifinals.
Michael Lynche (This Is a Man's World) -- I'm having Gokeyesque problems with Lynchepin. I think I don't like him so much just because they keep telling me how much I love him. I have to say I was expecting a little bit more energy for a James Brown song. He sounded OK I guess, but I wasn't impressed. 6.25
A standing O from Randy? Well, I guess I'm going to be in the minority on this one. Even from Simon. OK. We'll agree to disagree.
John Park (Gravity) -- If he was born in Chicago and didn't move to Korea until he was six, how is English not his first language? I'm glad he told me the song is relevant so I don't have to determine that for myself. Well, it's no surprise he's better than he was last week. He'd have to be vomiting on stage to be worse. You can definitely tell that his voice is better than we saw previously, but I still didn't get it. 6.0
Man, it's like Kara had a complete transformation with her criticisms this season. That was constructive and coherent.
I love when Ryan tries to make things better and it ends up just more piling on of criticism. The poor kid.
Casey James (I Don't Wanna Be) -- Oh no. Why would you think doing a song that's been done to death on the show already would be a good thing? He's still adorable though. He's going to get reamed for this. This seems like a really lazy performance. He looks at his guitar sometimes when he's playing and it's like, literally, his right hand doesn't know what the left one is doing. I still love him, but not because of this performance. 6.75
I guess he's not going to get reamed. Oh no. It's like Kara and I are completely on the same page this year. I'm sad. Great line, Simon (He didn't return any of your calls, darling).
If it seems like I'm being harder on them than usual, I am. I decided that since this group isn't as good as last year's group, I'm going to lower their scores until they deserve them to be higher.
Alex Lambert (Everybody Knows) -- I don't care if he's nervous or if he loves it on stage. It's his voice I can't stand. I don't know why they think he can sing. Maybe if he were a country singer, I wouldn't hate him so much but his enunciation makes me cringe. That money note was more like a bad check. 4.25
Oh please. I don't know what they are talking about. Did Ellen just compare him to Sam Cooke? Are you crazy woman?! OK. Now all is right with the world. I am not rooting for him, Kara. I can't wait to see him leave. It's like I'm watching a different show sometimes.
Todrick Hall (What's Love Got to Do with It) -- This guy is like Jekyll and Hyde for me. One minute I love him. The next I can't take him at all. Did he just say Paula Abdul sings and dances at the same time? Grrlll? Are you crazy? The arrangement is better this week than last, but he doesn't sound that good vocally. This is going to be a long season if someone doesn't grab a hold of me soon. 5.75
They are all over the place with the critiques. What is he going to take from this that's going to help him? Again, I agree with Kara. And I agree with the last thing Simon said. He's getting this completely and utterly wrong.
Jermaine Sellers (What's Goin' On) -- "It's like zero below weather." AHHH. I thought he was singing the same song again this week. I was ready to cry. He looks like a black Pee Wee Herman. Well, I don't like HIM, but I like this performance more than any of the others so far. But his personality is a little rough. 6.5
I could barely even follow all that gibberish. If he pulled anything constructive out of that mess, he probably understands when people speak in tongues.
Thanks for letting me know I can get these performances on iTunes, Ryan. Let me rush right over there now. Classics, every one of them.
Andrew Garcia (You Give Me Something) -- Would you have guessed he was a break dancer? So, he's got the best voice of the guys I think. I'm not thrilled with the songs he's choosing so far, but I'm going to cut him a break until we get to the top 12 because I think he has a big upside. 7.0
I agree with Ellen on the point that he set the bar high with Straight Up. It reminds me of when Michael Johns did the Queen song in Hollywood and was amazing. He never recovered from that. I hope Andrew can recover.
Is it possible that this week is even worse than last week? I wish I could turn it off right now to tell you the truth. And that's before I just looked at the last three names left to perform. I may serious stop watching and cry for 10 minutes before I finish.
Aaron Kelly (My Girl) -- He called them pitchers instead of pictures. I love it. This kid is totally making me change my opinion of him. I was sure he was going to implode on this stage and be gone immediately. Right now, he's better tonight than everyone else by a magnitude of ten. I really liked this. 7.75
I love that Kara said, "I appreciate that. That I don't get confused." We appreciate when you don't get confused as well Kara. I almost never disagree this much with Simon, but I don't think he's got this right at all tonight. I'm so old. I have no idea who Justin Bieber is.
Tim Urban (Come On Get Higher) -- He should try a different prayer this week. He's got a good attitude about how bad he was last week. I've been trying to figure out who he reminded me of for a couple of weeks and I just realized, it's Jon Peter Lewis from season three. He's got to get the most improved this week. I know he really couldn't have gotten worse, but he probably just bought himself another week with that. 7.0
Can you act? That's just mean. He looks like he might cry. Why shouldn't he? I've felt like crying all night. Simon said exactly what I was thinking.
Lee Dewyze (Lips of an Angel) -- I hope he knows what a dark horse is, because I'm thinking he might be one. I'm liking him more each week. I was not impressed in Hollywood, but he's changing my mind. I liked it. Plus, he looks even hotter this week. 8.0
So, if we're basing it only on tonight's performances, I have no idea who might go home. Can we send five or six of them home? Since I really can't find objective ways to decide among the lousy, I'm just going to say who I'd send home if it were solely up to me. John Park and Alex Lambert. And then next week I'd get rid of Jermaine Sellers and either Tim Urban or Todrick Hall. But give this list a seriously look. All of a sudden, it doesn't seem impossible that Tim Urban might end up in the top 12. UG. LY.